I am coming at you today, singing from the rooftops about how good it feels when you have freedom around food.
As you all know, I recovered from an eating disorder when I was 21, but recently (at 26) realised I had some orthorexic tendencies that needed addressing and fully healing to be fully at peace with food. You see, when you study nutrition, you are surrounded by other nutrition nerds. We are in this little bubble, being taught what is “good” and what is “bad” to eat. Then you are met with every Tom, Dick and Harry in your social circle discussing what is “best to eat”. It is hard not to become obsessed about each morsel that enters your mouth, whether you can lean towards extreme behaviour or not, especially if you have a past history of an eating disorder.
My passion for nutrition was innocent to start with, but it quickly triggered old and extreme behaviours of black and white thinking around food. The J man recognised this for a long time, especially as he knew about my past and him being the person who inspired me to recover at 21. But of course I was quick to defend over the years, that you could “never be too healthy”. Oh how wrong I was…
I am delighted to say that any orthorexic thoughts are less and less every day that goes by. Each day that I choose love and each day that I smash through and reframe a food fear or disordered thought, I feel more free. Each day that I tune into what MY body needs to feel its best, physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually, I feel more free. And it feels glorious, so bloody glorious.
What I have learned so far…
- When I honour my true cravings, I feel emotionally, mentally and physically satisfied.
- My body truly knows best.
- There doesn’t need to be a food police and legalistic food system in our minds. When we let go of all the food rules and just trust in out bodies, they guide us to what we need.
- There is so much freedom in letting go of all food rules.
I feel positive and empowered about all this and truly believe we can have a happy, intuitive, and loving relationship with food where it does not take up too much focus or time, and where we don’t always latch on to it to quench each emotion and control what we cannot control. I truly believe we can get to a place where we intuitively eat to help us feel vibrant, so that we can go out and live our lives, serve others and be what we came here to be. We can get to a place where we have a healthy relationship to food, physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually.
What food fears have you moved through in the past? Do you still have any you need to work on? Do you ever get stressed out by all the nutritional noise from the media?