I don’t know about you, but I can be pretty mean to myself sometimes. My mind can crank up the volume on thoughts that all stem from the same concept of “you are not good enough”. Luckily I am getting better all of the time at being kinder to myself, but sometimes that inner mean girl can win.
And I know I am not the only one. It is like a human epidemic of our egos trying to keep us safe, to not grow and to not shine.
So many of my girlfriends, family members and people close to me can suffer with the same shit and it really needs to change.
Inner mean girl says…
“You should have it all together by now”
“You are not thin/beautiful enough”
“You are not as successful as him/her”
“You are not x, y, z – insert whatever not enoughness here…”
In reality, we are enough. We always have been, we always will be.
Next time those thoughts pop into your head, try to challenge them. We do not have to believe in everything that we think – we can build a new dialogue. We can build new beliefs that are actually true – we are enough.
“You should have it all together” becomes challenged by – No one has it “all together”, we are all complex human beings with ups and downs. I am doing the best I can and that is enough.
“You are not thin/beautiful enough” becomes challenged by – My worth does not depend on my shape, size, external appearance.
“You are not as successful as him/her” becomes challenged by – What does that even mean – “successful enough”. Success is a very individual thing and you don’t know what is going on in someone else’s life. They may look like they “have it all”, but are they happy? Are they fulfilled? What is going on behind the scenes? We don’t know any of this, so let’s quit comparing. And more importantly, your worth is not based on your “success”, whatever that even means…
We need to create a kinder relationship to ourselves. If your best friend or family member were saying awful things about themselves, you would treat them with kindness and remind them how amazing they are. You wouldn’t be horrible to them and say nasty things to them. So why do we do this with ourselves?
I would never speak to another how I can speak to myself. And slowly but surely over the years I have developed a much kinder relationship with myself. Because I am enough, I am worthy of love, especially my own, and so are YOU.
Be kind to yourself. It works wonders 🙂
Because you are enough, you always have been and always will be no matter what. And you are worthy of love. Always have been and always will be.
Have you struggled with “not enoughness” and not being kind to yourself? How did/do you move through it?