With 2017 drawing to a close, it is only natural that we will begin to reflect on 2017. As I have been reflecting on this year I thought it would be good to give the blog a little life update.
(Side note…Sometimes I wonder if when moving into a more professional sphere that I should be less “life updatey” and more just “business professional”… but then I remember that most of my favourite professionals are actually the ones who are vulnerable and share parts of their life too. They are relatable, real and their vulnerability invites you in to know you are not alone.)
2017 has been a rollercoaster year to say the least. I graduated from my Nutrition programme in Sydney back in December 2016 with high hopes of coming back to the UK and starting private practice and then going on to start an MSc in Eating Disorders and Clinical Nutrition at University College London. I had a nutrition internship lined up (shout out to the amazing Laura Thomas PHD) and all was set up to begin studying to further increase, not only my nutrition knowledge, but to learn in depth about eating disorders. With my heart set on helping people make peace with food, their bodies and themselves, increasing my knowledge and my qualifications felt right.
We moved back to the UK in March of 2017 and after a little bit of temping work, I started the working with Laura and helping her with her nutrition practice and I loved it. However, this was also a really tough time. Although I was in a wonderful place with my eating (oh hey healed from all disordered eating!), my anxiety (which is something I have had and managed since 2011), reared its ugly head and came in full force and it became pretty debilitating to a level I had not experienced since it started. It meant my plan of 2017 kind of went out the window and I had to choose to focus on myself and getting myself back to a good place again.
Fortunately, I can report that I am in a good place again. Although not perfect (obvs… I am human in a complex, messy and multifaceted world), I am in a much better place. My anxiety is manageable and it is so freeing. I am also in a place where I refuse to let anxiety stop me from living my dreams, living a full life and helping others in the ways I feel called to. I know and know of so many people out there in various professions, from Doctors to Therapists, to Nutritionists, to business people, to charity workers etc., who are helping others and living a full life despite having anxiety or depression or some other mental health issue and they do not let it stop them.
So where am I at now with my nutrition, my career and my next steps?
Given that I was not in the best place mentally, along with some other personal reasons, I chose to defer the masters until September 2018. During this time I began working for a wonderful company run by a really wonderful person. I was promoted fairly quickly to become an EA for the owner and I have really been enjoying it. I love the woman I work for and the girls I get to work with and I really resonate with the vision of hers and how she is going to help people and this planet. It really satisfies my passion of helping this beautiful planet of ours and the environment. I feel very lucky to have this role and inspired to help make environmental change.
At the same time, my passion of helping women heal their relationships to food and their bodies and themselves has not gone away as you will see on my Instagram. I have a huge drive in my soul to help empower women to know that they are worthy, they they are enough, that they are loved and that their worth does not align to the size of their clothes, the size of their body or the type of food on their plate. As someone who has walked through experiences of eating disorders, anxiety and using other unhealthy ways to avoid emotions and feeling too much (oh hey binge drinking), I am very driven to help women take care of themselves in body, mind and soul, to love themselves and to honour their emotions in healthy ways.
With that said, I am going to spend some time over the Christmas holidays planning ways in which I can help people with these things, with the qualifications I already have and put out services some time in the New Year. Then I will leave the rest up to the God to guide me. I am so over trying to control every detail and instead am giving it up to the big G. I know that may not resonate with some of you, but I can’t help but let me spiritual side pop out from time to time 😉
As for blogging… I am aiming to get into the habit of posting a couple of times a week. I still love to write (even if I am not the best writer…) and I will continue to write about various food peace, body peace, self peace, self worth, self love + mental health topics. If there is anything you would like me to write about please send me an email at email@example.com.
All that to say, there was also a tonne of amazing parts to 2017. Me and the J man are better than ever and I thank God for him every, single day. I am well aware of how lucky I am to have such an incredible man + rock in my life. I had some amazing trips away including a family wedding in Bali, a stopover in Singapore on the way back from Sydney and a cheeky trip to both Amsterdam + Barcelona to watch my sister run some marathons. I am very lucky to be able to experience some wonderful travel in my life. There has also been plenty of amazing times with friends + family, laughing until I have cried and lots of wonderful experiences.
That is the beautiful, complex, messy, raw and real human life experience we have. It is not always hard and it is not always shiny. We have days where we can scarce breathe because of emotions and pain. Yet we also have breath taking beauty, blessings and wonderful parts of life and experiences that can simply blow us away with immense gratitude.
It is ok to be a beautiful mess. We are humans, we are not meant to be perfect.
I hope you all have some time to reflect on your 2017 and I hope you are taking the journey to start being kinder to yourself, have huge self compassion and love and start to make peace with who you are. I hope you are beginning to know your worth, that you are enough and that your appearance has nothing to do with your worth.
I will pop in with another post on Friday about handling diet talk. Until then, be kind to yourself and eat something delicious!
(And just a little side note for anyone new around here… I have been blogging for nearly 4 years now, but you won’t see many posts from pre 2016. I chose to delete a tonne of them as during my disordered eating orthorexic days, I wrote some batshit stuff that I think is best to delete so it doesn’t negatively effect anyone. There was a lot of good stuff in there too, and some general lifey posts like this one, but in order to stay aligned with my current message and work, it is best to get rid. We all grow and change and that is a beautiful part of this life.)